Well.. What can I say? You know when you hear people’s mums say ‘If you ain’t got anything good to say.. Don’t say anything at all..’ well, I won’t say anything. I would rather tell you how I fell down with good luck before I watched the film by going into subway and got a meal for 30p cos the guy mispressed on the card machine.. It was nice too.. But sigh.. You are here for the review.
Alright I’m gonna say spoiler alert but to be honest just read it. I’m not gonna tell you to watch it at the end of this anyway. The film starts off with a familiar face and a generic storyline of a kid with his overworked parents. They ain’t dumb and they know somethings wrong in the air but still continue life as normal. Obviously manure hits the fan and things go bad. Suddenly we jump forward in time and are already faced with many plot holes and new actors. But sadly the actors fail to be able to act. Anyway then they suddenly kill off the one actor we could actually relate to. Literally killed them off, then you see a body bag being zipped up and that was it. Never to be spoken of again. Why? They didn’t even need to.
Then enter the young man who takes over the main role in the movie that can’t even act good enough to show standard emotions. The bredda never looked scared or puzzled or surprised by anything that happened in the rest of the film. “Rah a 2000 ft dinosaur is scuffing in my city. Alright I’m just gonna do something over here. My life is not at risk here at all..” FAM this film is crap man.
Then we go onto Godzilla himself. My man looked good. He looked like his old school self. They did one thing right. But okay, then they tried to make Godzilla look like the villain. Then all of a sudden a second threat shows itself and Godzilla suddenly appears and swims through water making sure he doesn’t kill any civilians like he’s batman, swimming under boats and ish. Then he gets to land, submerges out of the water and then walks through the streets of hawaii like he SUPER SAIYAN 4 GOKU! So casual. Then all of a sudden it jumps to day time and Gokuzilla is on the move swimming again with boats literally by his side like Mandem rolling to beef together. Everyone is smiling on the boats like there isn’t a 2000 ft dinosaur that could kill them instantly next to them, wasn’t there. Then all of a sudden the army switch on him and try to kill him while he’s trying to save the people in the towns lives. Baffled. Then he just brushes off the missiles and bullets like an itch that you don’t even scratch. Anyway after that the end fight was anti climatic with a one tail sweep. And to further extend the fact he is Gokuzilla, he does some random kamehameha from his mouth into the other monsters mouth. Literally. I’m not joking. He literally puked up a laser beam.. Baffled. Then they nuke him and have his body laying in the middle of the city and everyone wakes up the next day like “yaaaaaaay it’s over, I mean look there’s a big ass dinosaur laying in out Street but yaaaaaaay it’s over.” Then my man Gokuzilla wakes up like “yo Mandem, I’m cool yana, I’m gonna go home now”, GETS UP AND MAKES A MOVE TO THE SEA AND THEN EVERYONE CLAPS AND CHEERS FOR MAN!?!?
The whole film didn’t make sense and I swear I sat there after the film like really? .. Really?.. Did I just pay for that?
This film is a heap of trash and honestly I think it’s the worst film I have ever subjected myself to watch.
Believe me I would rather watch a dog poo on my doorstep than watch that ever again. Reviewor score of 2/100.
This post was written by @jinkJones, follow @iRDEntourage for more news, music, games and fashion. We do competitions too! See ya on the flipside!
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